The Morning Sh*t — A TL;DR Summary of Jalopnik for 1/30/2018

"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78) 01/30/2018 at 09:53 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire

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Welcome to The Morning Sh*t! Like it Orlove it.

1 st Gear : Google’s Waymo self-driving service ordering thousands of hybrid Pacificas — most likely for the tax benefits of fast depreciation.

2 nd Gear : FCA paid UAW to STFU and GBTW.

3 rd Gear : VW fires chief lobbyist after company found testing emissions on monkeys. Basically it’s a gesture akin to Hitler firing Goebbels for leaving the toilet seat up.

4 th Gear : Bosch claims to know nothing about testing emissions on monkeys. No word from the power tools division.

5 th Gear : Anyone who had “Murano CrossCabriolet” at the top of their list of Modern Classics, please step forward to collect your prize.

Reverse : Mazda was founded 98 years ago, which is how long you’ve been explaining to your family and coworkers that they’re a legitimate competitor to Honda, Nissan, and Toyota.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Ash78, voting early and often 01/30/2018 at 10:00

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Re: 5th gear

benjrblant > Ash78, voting early and often 01/30/2018 at 10:00

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Oh this is so much more tolerable. You should do this daily.

Ash78, voting early and often > benjrblant 01/30/2018 at 10:01

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Planning to — this is day 3 (consecutively) which is more consistency than I can claim in my real job...

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Ash78, voting early and often 01/30/2018 at 10:04

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1st gear: Google orders way, way mo pacificas

Ash78, voting early and often > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 01/30/2018 at 10:08

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Wayans Mo Money something something

DayManFighterOfTheNightMan > Ash78, voting early and often 01/30/2018 at 10:17

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Please don’t ever stop doing this!

user314 > Ash78, voting early and often 01/30/2018 at 11:11

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2nd Gear: ROTFLMAO, OMGWTFBBQ!